Week 17.

This was a tiring week.

One of those weeks where I questioned myself more than usual.

Every week, I walk into school thinking about growth 🌱. Thinking about becoming better — a better teacher, a calmer teacher, a more effective teacher.

But this week…

I did not feel like the teacher I hoped to be 😔.

The Classroom Struggle 😮‍💨

This week, I felt very demotivated.

I was upset with my learners because no matter what I tried:

• whole class activities
• pair work
• games
• play corner

…I still struggled to keep them from making noise or misbehaving.

And slowly, I began asking myself:

👉 Am I doing something wrong?
👉 Why can’t I command attention the way I want to?

What drains me most is not the lesson itself.

It is the constant:
🔁 reminding
🔁 reprimanding
🔁 disciplining

All these things take away so much class time. Sometimes, it upsets the learners who are genuinely trying. Sometimes, it even feels like the naughty ones become louder because the attention becomes their spotlight 😮‍💨.

And honestly…

I hate becoming the teacher who keeps scolding.

That is not who I want to be.

5B – The Frame Is Slowly Forming✍️🍔

For 5B, we continued working on the guided writing burger.

Many learners managed to write, and although grammar mistakes are still there, I can slowly see the structure taking shape 🥹✨.

The frame is forming.

I truly believe they can become independent writers one day.

But for that to happen:
👉 they need more focus
👉 less talking

And me?

👉 more patience
👉 clearer boundaries

2Z – Singing Through the Lesson🎶🏠

For 2Z, we learned a new song:
✨ The Old House ✨

We sang, used gestures, drew pictures, and practised writing.

They really enjoy singing 💛.

Although many still “eat the words” while singing 😆🎤, I was still happy to see some learners getting the gestures correct.

The topic definitely needs reinforcement — maybe after the school holidays.

But for now, I think:
🌱 some seeds were planted.

3Z – The Hardest Class This Week🌧️

3Z was my most challenging class this week.

I struggled to:

• maintain focus
• encourage work completion
• manage behaviour consistently

And yet…

many learners still managed to earn their play tickets 🎟️✨.

What hurts me most is seeing the learners who are genuinely trying.

I want them to feel happy in my class. I want them to feel safe to learn.

But there were also moments this week where some learners made me feel deeply upset despite all my efforts.

The Teacher Outside the Classroom🌷

The strange thing is…

Outside the classroom, I am a very smiling teacher 😆.

I greet students before they greet me.
I wear bright colours because I know they like them 🌈.
I wave everywhere I go like school royalty 😂👑.
I sashay through the hallways like they belong to me.

But inside?

Sometimes I feel ashamed that I cannot command attention in my own classroom.

Today, I almost cried.

And before I actually did…
I dismissed my students early.

A Needed Breather🌿

Next week, I will be attending an animation course outside school.

And honestly?

Thank God for the breather 😮‍💨🤍

I think I need it.

Not because I want to run away from teaching —
but because I want to return with a lighter heart.

Final Reflection🤍

This week was not my best week.

But maybe not every week is meant to feel victorious.

Sometimes growth looks like:
🌱 showing up while tired
🌱 trying again despite disappointment
🌱 caring deeply, even when your heart feels heavy

And perhaps…

the fact that I still want to become better means I have not given up yet.

Alhamdulillah 🤍✨